I painted this skunk with my left, non-dominant hand using my son's leftover paint. He became the cover of my album ANYMALS, and somewhere along the way, Skunk became a spirit animal for one of the most vulnerable parts of me.
The song is called Skunk (Un-existing).
I use un-existing for that place where existing itself feels exhausting. The place underneath the apologies. Underneath making myself smaller. Underneath feeling like I take up too much room while somehow also feeling like I barely belong in the room at all.
Skunk meets me there.
In the song, Little One says:
“Some days I forget I have a boundary
I'm remembering who I was
Before I was told who to be
I still say sorry too much
Skunk stomps.
The real fight is you against you
Your self hate is the old story
Sorry is the apology for existing
Sorry is a wall
The one you built to keep yourself small
The part that still believes you don't matter”
That section means a lot to me because I know what it is to say sorry almost automatically. Sorry for needing something. Sorry for having a reaction. Sorry for taking somebody's time. Sorry for occupying space.
Sometimes sorry has very little to do with having done something wrong.
Sometimes sorry means, please tell me I'm still allowed to be here.
And Skunk says:
“Little one, that voice isn't yours
It was given to you
You don't have to keep it
Say this with me if you want:
I am not sorry
I am not sorry
I am not sorry anymore!”
I love Skunk for this because he is such an unlikely little teacher of presence. He's skittish. He jumps at shadows. He has zero interest in picking a fight. He gives warning after warning.
And he still has a boundary.
His little feet belong on the ground.
His body gets to occupy territory.
He gets to say, “this far, no further.”
The song gets heavier than learning to apologize less, though. Skunk also sits with the part of me that has struggled to want the ground at all.
“You don't have to want to be here
I'll stay anyway
You don't have to want the ground
We'll lock the door anyway
Skunk is not sorry
This space is yours”
I wanted Skunk to offer something gentler than demanding that Little One suddenly feel grateful, healed, happy, or excited to exist.
He just stays with her.
“I will not abandon you
Even when you want to disappear”
And eventually:
“The little one wiggles her toes in the dirt
She's not ready to stand
But she's here”
That's what I hope this can be for somebody else, too.
Maybe you say sorry too much.
Maybe you've spent years making yourself smaller so everybody around you stays comfortable.
Maybe there have been days when being here feels heavier than you know how to explain.
Maybe you're simply learning where your own boundary is.
I hope you can wear this little Skunk and let him keep watch for a while.
And maybe, if you need the words, borrow skunk’s:
“I am not sorry .”
Thank you for giving something this personal a little corner of your home. It still amazes me that words I wrote because I needed them, and a skunk I painted with my kid's leftover paint, can leave my house and mean something to somebody else.
This space is yours.
🦨🖤
Care Instructions:
Machine wash: cold (max 30°C or 90°F)
Turn inside out to protect the print Use a gentle cycle
Do not bleach
Tumble dry: low heat
For best results, air dry Iron, steam or dry: low heat
Do not dry clean
Do not use fabric softener
XSSMLXL2XLWidth, in13.9815.0015.9816.9717.9918.98Length, in26.9727.4827.9528.4628.9829.49
The racerback cut.
.: Made with extra light fabric (60% combed, ring-spun cotton and 40% polyester: 4 oz/yd² (135 g/m²)) this racerback tank is supremely lightweight and an excellent choice for the active lifestyle.
.: The classic fit along make the tank a comfortable choice under high performance while the scooped neckline brings a sporty touch to the whole outfit.
.: For a completely scratch-free experience, all tanks come with a tear-away label for unhindered performance on a daily basis.
.: Neck label print area is decorated with Direct-to-Film (DTF) or Direct-to-garment (DTG) methods.
EU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY
Product information: Next Level 1533, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC
Care instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Do not bleach, Tumble dry: low heat, Do not iron, Do not dryclean
I painted this skunk with my left, non-dominant hand using my son's leftover paint. He became the cover of my album ANYMALS, and somewhere along the way, Skunk became a spirit animal for one of the most vulnerable parts of me.
The song is called Skunk (Un-existing).
I use un-existing for that place where existing itself feels exhausting. The place underneath the apologies. Underneath making myself smaller. Underneath feeling like I take up too much room while somehow also feeling like I barely belong in the room at all.
Skunk meets me there.
In the song, Little One says:
“Some days I forget I have a boundary
I'm remembering who I was
Before I was told who to be
I still say sorry too much
Skunk stomps.
The real fight is you against you
Your self hate is the old story
Sorry is the apology for existing
Sorry is a wall
The one you built to keep yourself small
The part that still believes you don't matter”
That section means a lot to me because I know what it is to say sorry almost automatically. Sorry for needing something. Sorry for having a reaction. Sorry for taking somebody's time. Sorry for occupying space.
Sometimes sorry has very little to do with having done something wrong.
Sometimes sorry means, please tell me I'm still allowed to be here.
And Skunk says:
“Little one, that voice isn't yours
It was given to you
You don't have to keep it
Say this with me if you want:
I am not sorry
I am not sorry
I am not sorry anymore!”
I love Skunk for this because he is such an unlikely little teacher of presence. He's skittish. He jumps at shadows. He has zero interest in picking a fight. He gives warning after warning.
And he still has a boundary.
His little feet belong on the ground.
His body gets to occupy territory.
He gets to say, “this far, no further.”
The song gets heavier than learning to apologize less, though. Skunk also sits with the part of me that has struggled to want the ground at all.
“You don't have to want to be here
I'll stay anyway
You don't have to want the ground
We'll lock the door anyway
Skunk is not sorry
This space is yours”
I wanted Skunk to offer something gentler than demanding that Little One suddenly feel grateful, healed, happy, or excited to exist.
He just stays with her.
“I will not abandon you
Even when you want to disappear”
And eventually:
“The little one wiggles her toes in the dirt
She's not ready to stand
But she's here”
That's what I hope this can be for somebody else, too.
Maybe you say sorry too much.
Maybe you've spent years making yourself smaller so everybody around you stays comfortable.
Maybe there have been days when being here feels heavier than you know how to explain.
Maybe you're simply learning where your own boundary is.
I hope you can wear this little Skunk and let him keep watch for a while.
And maybe, if you need the words, borrow skunk’s:
“I am not sorry .”
Thank you for giving something this personal a little corner of your home. It still amazes me that words I wrote because I needed them, and a skunk I painted with my kid's leftover paint, can leave my house and mean something to somebody else.
This space is yours.
🦨🖤
Care Instructions:
Machine wash: cold (max 30°C or 90°F)
Turn inside out to protect the print Use a gentle cycle
Do not bleach
Tumble dry: low heat
For best results, air dry Iron, steam or dry: low heat
Do not dry clean
Do not use fabric softener
XSSMLXL2XLWidth, in13.9815.0015.9816.9717.9918.98Length, in26.9727.4827.9528.4628.9829.49
The racerback cut.
.: Made with extra light fabric (60% combed, ring-spun cotton and 40% polyester: 4 oz/yd² (135 g/m²)) this racerback tank is supremely lightweight and an excellent choice for the active lifestyle.
.: The classic fit along make the tank a comfortable choice under high performance while the scooped neckline brings a sporty touch to the whole outfit.
.: For a completely scratch-free experience, all tanks come with a tear-away label for unhindered performance on a daily basis.
.: Neck label print area is decorated with Direct-to-Film (DTF) or Direct-to-garment (DTG) methods.
EU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY
Product information: Next Level 1533, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC
Care instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Do not bleach, Tumble dry: low heat, Do not iron, Do not dryclean
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