[INTRO]
In a world of billions,
how do I feel so alone?
[VERSE 1]
Scroll the feed,
everybody looks like they're thriving,
all smiling and happy.
What's wrong with me?
I cringe when...
I cringe when others look so happy.
Why can't I be?
[PRE-CHORUS 1]
No one knows I'm not okay.
I hide behind my smile.
But I'm running out of smiles.
I hate when someone asks,
"How are you?"
Please don't make me answer.
I'll turn it back to you.
[CHORUS]
I need help.
Sorry.
I need help.
I'm sorry.
It's probably nothing.
I'll be okay.
I need help.
Sorry.
[VERSE 2]
I have everybody's number.
I don't know who to call.
I pick up my phone.
I put it back down.
I type,
"Can we talk?"
I erase what I wrote.
Maybe I'm just tired.
Maybe I'll say I'm sad.
Maybe I'll say it's getting worse.
Maybe that sounds too bad.
I hate to bother you.
I know you're busy too.
It's just I'm afraid
there's nothing left for me.
[PRE-CHORUS 2]
It's just a passing thought
that keeps coming back.
The thoughts in my head feel normal.
I forget how bad they sound
until I say them out loud...
Ohhhh...
I don't know how to be me.
[CHORUS]
I need help.
Sorry.
I need help.
I'm sorry.
It's probably nothing.
I'll be okay.
I need help.
Sorry.
[SPOKEN]
This animal in my lap
is why I'm still alive.
At least she needs me.
[VERSE 3]
I think about disappearing.
Then I think about
who would find me.
I think about what
they'd have to live with.
Even in death,
I feel like an inconvenience.
I'm doing my best to stay alive,
but it's devouring my insides.
I don't know how much longer
I can carry this aching body.
[BRIDGE]
I want the life I'm living to end.
I want to live a different one.
[FINAL CHORUS]
I need help.
I need help.
I need help.
Sorry.
[OUTRO]
I stare at the screen.
I type, "I need help."
It looks worse written down.
My thumb hovers over send.
A work in progress, just like the rest of us. Still painting, still figuring it out. Putting it up anyway until it’s done. The unfinished parts belong here, too.
