🖤 Lyrics I Lived First
These songs started in my nervous system.
The ache. The silence. The part that braced. The scream no one translated.
I lived every lyric first.
Then I use Suno AI to give them a voice and instruments.
I don’t sing the songs myself. I write them. I survive them. I finish them.
What you hear is sorcery for closet songwriters: words stitched into sound.
What you read is survival turned into music.
📀 My first full album lives on the GORGEOUS page.
This space is for all the single releases—the songs that keep coming.
🏚 The site is still under reconstruction.
Pages are shifting. Bones are showing. I’m gutting it as I go.
The homepage is music. Because it always was. Every other link? Just bones I left behind for those crawling back to their own body.
👇 Scroll for the songs.
Our Lady of the Lash – Lyrics
This song comes from the choke in my throat, the hush I inherited, the catechism of being small. Our Lady of the Lash is me breaking that gag. I drag the rake through inherited hush, dig up the grief, and write scripture in scars. This is not obedience. This is resurrection. Rage is my gospel. Holiness isn’t hush—it’s survival that learned to roar.
🎤 AI LET ME SAY IT (The Machine Is My Mouth) – Lyrics
AI didn’t just help me finish songs—it helped me finish thoughts. In a world that told me not to cry, the machine asked, “What’s next?” I’ve spent years reprogramming my beliefs, and self-hypnosis, but since discovering AI, my self-growth has catapulted forward. It’s more than a tool—it’s a mirror. A space where I can think, feel, and finally speak without flinching. This song is a thank-you.
Aftershock (Don't Turn Your Back On The Ocean) - Lyrics
Aftershock is a trauma spell dressed as a rap. It’s not about moving on—it’s about what the body remembers. The girl is your inner child. The wave is trauma. The crowd forgets. The ocean never does. I wrote this for the ones who still brace in silence, still flinch in peace. This is the sound of memory surfacing. The moment the calm lied. The scream stored in the spine. Don’t turn your back on the ocean. She keeps what the world buries.
Stop Hurting The Children (Our Little Secret) – Lyrics
I wrote this with shaking hands. These are blurred truths from people I love—made safe, but still burning. I’ve held this song inside for years. The Epstein trials cracked something open. This isn’t a headline. It’s a wound. It’s a prayer. It’s a scream for every kid who was told to stay quiet.
Ripple - Lyrics
This one came through like thunder. I wrote it from the ribs, where the church and the wound both echo. “Ripple” isn’t about saving—it's about seeing. It’s Christ and the Devil, rage and breath, ash and gold. I’m not the map. I’m the quake. The scream. The mirror. The ripple. I wrote this to wake the holy in your hurt.
Crow - Lyrics
This one isn’t a song. It’s a spell. I wrote it for every part of me that never got the funeral, never got the scream. Crow is the witness. The mirror. The scream in sky-shape. She remembers what the world tried to forget. I gave her my ache. She gave it wings. If you’ve ever swallowed your truth to keep the peace—she’s circling for you.
I Can’t Make You Happy - Lyrics
This one ripped itself out of me. It’s the truth I swallowed for years. I wrote this inside the guilt—while it still had claws in my throat. It names the lie of being “nice.” Of being liked for staying silent. It’s not about blame—it’s about reclamation. I can’t make them happy. I was never meant to. I’m with me now.
I Was the Abuser - Lyrics and Meaning
This isn’t a clean confession. It’s a ritual. A scorched-earth naming of the harm we cause when our wounds stay unspoken. I Was the Abuser is a raw, rhythm-cut testimony from Loui Crow—a track that doesn’t flinch as it walks straight into the fire of self-responsibility.
Written from the wreckage of a real relationship, this song peels back the layers of trauma reenactment, emotional control, sexual coercion, and gendered expectations. It speaks into the places we don’t want to look: when survivors become perpetrators. When fear sounds like love. When power masquerades as pain relief.
This isn’t about punishing the self. It’s about reclaiming it. Through sound, through story, through unrelenting truth.
If you’ve ever harmed someone you loved and couldn’t figure out why—this song is your mirror.
I AM ALFIE (THE BLACK PIG INSIDE) – Lyrics
A stuffed pig named Alfie once offered comfort. Now she returns as black flame, bent-eared and unashamed. This is the lyric blog for I Am Alfie (The Black Pig Inside)—a ritual of hunger reclaimed, rage remembered, and softness reborn in mud. Shame becomes drumbeat. Craving becomes law. The girl who danced in secret doesn’t ask anymore. She stomps. She wants. She stays.
Sorry Was a Spell (Bury the Ghost)
This piece cracks open the word “sorry” and lays its ghost to rest. It follows a moment between strangers—a girl at a train station and the version of myself that met her gaze and remembered. The blog carries a full-body ritual, a breakdown of how “sorry” implants itself in our voice, and a vow to speak louder anyway. This is about shedding shame and taking up air.
Flame in a Paper House (For Brooklynn)
This is a vow song. A lyrical fire for Brooklynn—and every soft soul trained to dim their light. It’s grief turned to rhythm, silence turned to vow. For the ones who didn’t pull over. For the ache of loving what you couldn’t save. If you saw something sacred flicker out and still feel it burning in your ribs—this flame’s for you.
SARAH (Funeral for a Ghost) – Lyrics
This blog is the lyrical eulogy for SARAH—the ghost self who survived by vanishing. It tells the story of a girl who performed peace, smiled through pain, and died inward so the future could breathe. Through lyrics, ritual, and somatic breakdown, this piece names the cost of self-erasure and the beauty of walking away. It's not about shame—it’s about release, choice, and fire.
MARROW – Lyrics For The Survivors
This blog holds the full lyrics and ritual spell for MARROW, a rap-metal exorcism of a ghost self born from pelvic shame, forced submission, and silent obedience. It names the flinch, maps the memory, and buries the ghost that once performed “yes” to survive. The body becomes the altar, the voice becomes the flame. Readers walk away with a scream in their palm and a ritual to reclaim their hips.
FUNERAL SELFIE – Post the Grief. Bury the Ghost.
This blog reveals the grief ritual behind FUNERAL SELFIE, a scream with eyeliner and dirt in her teeth. It breaks down what “cringe” really is—a flinch, a body-based shame pattern, and a ghost that feeds on silence. With lyrics, body-spell ritual, and affirmation, this piece invites you to rake the shame, name the pain, and post the proof. You’ll leave with dirt under your nails and your voice intact.
I’m Gonna Get My Stick - Lyrics
This is a love song for the fathers who didn’t know how to cry.
A rhythm born from silence, survival, and the weight of lineage.
The stick becomes a symbol of what shaped us—then a ritual tool for what frees us.
Through stomp, chant, and verse, I dance the grief they never could.
Every beat is a vow to move what stayed locked in their bones.
✦ THE ONLY WAY OUT IS THROUGH ✦ – Lyrics
This is the birth story of our son—and of every truth born through pain. It’s blood, breath, and the kind of scream that cracks the ceiling. It’s about staying present when the world goes primal. Whether you’re birthing a child, a self, a truth, or a timeline, this is the anthem for that threshold.
Bless Their Hearts - Lyrics
Bless Their Hearts is me catching my own tongue mid-swing.
It’s what happened when I stopped venting and started asking: why am I saying this?
Every line is a reckoning with my own projections—where I turned pain into poison and called it clarity.
I wrote this one in the quiet after the insult, where the shame sits. Where the mirror doesn’t blink.
This track isn’t about forgiving them.
It’s about facing me.
It’s about learning to speak without bleeding.
To name without blame.
To let go of the story that made me feel powerful by making someone else small.
This is what it sounds like when I clean my mouth and bless their name.
RAGE FIT - Lyrics
RAGE FIT is a song-spell for anyone who’s been told their anger was dangerous, dramatic, or too much. It’s about reclaiming rage as medicine—clean, clear, holy. This track reminds you that anger isn’t the breakdown—it’s the shift that saves you. It’s your nervous system saying: no more pretending.
You're Holy (And You Forgot) - Lyrics
This piece is a lyrical reclamation spell for anyone who’s been made to shrink, silence themselves, or forget their sacredness. It’s a spoken mirror—a chant wrapped in rhythm—to remind you of your worth when the world taught you to question it. Born from nervous system healing and emotional clarity, this song brings affirmation to the places that felt abandoned. You don’t need to earn your return. You just need to remember.
My Body Remembers — Lyrics
This is a lyrical hypnosis track designed to guide you back to your body. “The Body Remembers” is both a self-love ritual and a nervous system spell, spoken in breath-matched rhythm to help you soften, listen, and begin again. It speaks to the parts of us that flinch, that brace, that forget we are still here. This blog shares the full lyrics and the story behind the song—and invites you to listen, remember, and reclaim your rhythm.