16. Trusted You
The room stays lit—but my pulse goes stiff,
My breath knots tight like a sinking ship.
Hand drifts down / and the floor drops out.
No scream — just silence wrapping my mouth.
It's not violence—but it doesn't feel right.
You meant it gently. That makes it worse.
No break, no blood, no bruise.
So why do I feel like I've been used?
It's not rough. That's why I stay.
Soft hands train the trust away.
The touch seems curious—not meant to wound.
And that's why shame came in so soon.
It wanders south—as if it owns this land.
No cry, no push—just your wandering hand.
I map the ceiling like whispered prayers,
I vanish in skin, pretend I'm not there.
[PRE-CHORUS]
He asked if we were still okay.
I said yes — because no felt unsafe.
A silence seals the alibi.
Said it wouldn't change us. My throat resented it.
[CHORUS]
Trust is a blade with a ribbon on top.
You offered it silent. Then watched me drop.
This is where the pretty stops—
Trusted you.
I kept it quiet. Trusted you.
I called it nothing. Trusted you.
I was fifteen. I was small.
You knew it all—
And still, I trusted you.
I trusted you.
[VERSE 2]
"I'm still just a kid with a pen and a pack.
Hearts in my margins, love in lack.
I haven't kissed. Don't know what's safe.
So I layer up—like hiding takes shape."
They joke I'm flat / I hide my best.
He says I'm growing up so fast.
But I don't know what to do with that.
I didn't bleed, so no one cared.
But I shaved my hair.
I promise I'm fine while I pick my skin.
Joke like it's nothing while the bulimia sets in.
I stopped laughing. Just held it in.
No one noticed I stopped swimming.
His hand felt light—like he'd done nothing.
But my breath walks backward, tremor set deep.
I only feel safe when I'm last to sleep.
[CHORUS]
Trust is a blade with a ribbon on top.
You offered it silent. Then watched me drop.
This is where the pretty stops—
Trusted you.
I kept it quiet. Trusted you.
I called it nothing. Trusted you.
I was fifteen. I was small.
You knew it all—
And still, I trusted you.
I trusted you.
[VERSE 3]
Do you ever think about that?
The way I stopped calling back?
Do you still claim it meant nothing?
Yeah— That's what I said too.
Do you ask why I'm missing?
Why I never come to you?
Why I scorched the bridge and left no path—
It wasn't just the moment. It was the aftermath.
Every wound gets dressed in ink.
Skin's just space—not what you think.
Now I wear ink—your fear won't stay.
I build my armor day by day.
You told me I'd end up used.
You were the thorn. I became the bloom—
…I outgrew you.
[BRIDGE]
Trust was a promise wrapped in a lie.
You said it was love. But you meant: don't cry.
I learned to freeze, to smile, not to feel—
Trust isn't love when silence can steal.
[CHORUS]
Trust is a blade with a ribbon on top.
You offered it silent. Then watched me drop.
This is where the pretty stops—
Trusted you.
I kept it quiet. Trusted you.
I called it nothing. Trusted you.
I was fifteen. I was small.
You knew it all—
And still, I trusted you.
I trusted you.
[OUTRO]
I keep the pretty locked in a drawer.
That's what you do when your body's a war.
I trusted you.
