Content is free—but crows like snacks.
WHY RITUALS? WHY SPELLS?
Because the body remembers what the brain forgets.
Because movement says what words alone can’t.
Because how we speak to ourselves becomes how we live in our skin.
On this page, spells are simple.
The words are the spell. The movement is the ritual.
You say something that feels true. You do something that makes it real.
It doesn’t need candles or incense (unless you want them).
You don’t need to know how to “do it right.”
You already know how to breathe, how to place your hand on your heart, how to shake something off. That’s enough.
✨ A spell is a phrase that shifts something inside you.
✨ A ritual is a gesture that tells your nervous system: You’re safe now. You’re allowed to begin again.
✨ Together, they become a conversation between your body and your will.
The practices here are built on:
Somatic awareness (the body’s language)
Emotional rhythm (the way feelings move, not just what they say)
Energetic clarity (choosing what you want to feel, instead of what you were handed)
They’re short. They’re clear. They’re built for real life.
If your breath gets stuck in your throat,
If your heart races before you speak,
If you’re trying to feel okay in the middle of the day—
Try one. That’s what these are for.
LBRP for Weirdos: How to Protect Your Energy Like a Victorian Occultist With a Smartphone
The Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram (LBRP) explained in plain weird English. Sacred protection meets sassy spell armor—no robes required.
Parking Lot Invocation: Set Boundaries and Radiate Warmth in the Midst of Chaos
When the world feels like it’s closing in, and you’re battling the chaos in your own mind (or a parking lot meltdown), it’s time to draw your cross and recalibrate. The Parking Lot Invocation is a sacred, no-nonsense ritual to protect your energy and reclaim your peace, even when the world feels loud and you’re about to lose your shit over a parking spot.