🍪 You Deserve a Cookie That Loves You Back. Here’s a recipe.

🌿 “Every bite I take is a choice to nourish the life within me.”

- Guilt-Free, Joy-Filled, and Louise Hay Approved!

💋 Why This Is Not Just a Cookie

Let’s get one thing straight:
You are not on this planet to eat beige food and feel bad about it.

These cookies?
They’re a ritual.
They’re a “Captain Crunch-flavored inner child resurrection” in cookie form.
They’re a fuck-you to shame, and a big yes-please to nourishment.

And the best part?
Every single ingredient is pulling spiritual overtime.

🌟 INGREDIENTS & THEIR LOVE NOTES

The Liquid Gold (Sweet Batter)

• 25 Dates – Natures candy. Blood sugar friendly, fiber-rich, and full of potassium.
  Affirmation: I deserve sweetness without sacrifice.

• 1/2 Cup Cashews – Healthy fats for your brain, heart, and hormonal joy.
  Affirmation: I am nourished, and I think clearly.

• 1 Blueberry Applesauce Cup – Antioxidants, baby. This is fruit magic for your cells.
  Affirmation: I invite vibrancy into every cell of my being.

• 1 tsp Tapioca Starch – Gut-friendly thickener with a smooth finish.
  Affirmation: I digest life with ease and flow.

• 1 tsp Vanilla Extract – Comfort. Warmth. Love in aroma form.
  Affirmation: I am safe to savor.

• Splash of Black Coffee (Or water) – A little edge. A little boldness. Optional, but divine.
  Affirmation: I awaken to life with energy and delight.

The Earthy Foundation (Dry Batter)

• 2 Cups Oat Flour – Fiber, B vitamins, and grounding energy.
  Affirmation: I stand strong in my softness.

• 1/2 Cup Ground Flaxseed – Omega-3s and hormone harmony.
  Affirmation: I balance with grace.

• 1 tsp Salt – Enhances everything. Necessary contrast.
  Affirmation: I welcome the full flavor of life.

Magic Gems

• 1/2 Bag Oat Milk Chocolate Chips – Because joy is holy.
  Affirmation: I melt into joy. I deserve this.

🥣 ASSEMBLY INSTRUCTIONS

1. Blend all sweet batter ingredients until smooth and thick like cookie icing dreams.

2. In a separate bowl, mix dry batter.

3. Now the art begins: Add your sweet batter slowly to the dry, mixing until the dough hits your perfect cookie vibe. Want thin and crisp? Want thick and chewy? Make it yours.

4. Fold in chocolate chips like you're folding in the love.

5. Scoop onto parchment-lined sheet. Bake at 350°F for 12–15 minutes, or until the edges whisper “eat me.”

6. Save leftover sweet batter to dip your cookies like royalty. Store it. Bless it. Devour it.

🕯️ THE HOLY PRACTICE

This isn’t just a treat. This is food as remembrance.
You can be soft, sweet, healthy, and rebellious all at once.
No shame. No diet dogma. Just the joy of choosing yourself in the kitchen.

Because food is medicine.
And also... food is flirtation.

🌱 WFPB NOTE FROM THE ALTAR

This isn’t just guilt-free because it skips the drama of calories and crash diets.

It’s guilt-free because it feeds life with life.

Every ingredient here comes from the earth—unprocessed, unbothered, and brimming with real energy. No oils to inflame you. No processed sugars to hijack your brain. No chemical excitotoxins whispering lies to your nervous system. And no animal products weighing down your frequency.

Just living things for your living body.

Because you are what you eat, crowheart.
And when you feed it something real? Something alive?

Watch what happens. 🌾✨

🛒 COST TO MAKE (REAL-LIFE EDITION)

Let’s bust the myth: “Healthy food is expensive”
No, sugar. Processed healthy food is expensive.
But when you’re buying real ingredients and blending your own oat flour like a fiber-powered sorcerer? You’re saving more than money. You’re saving your own damn life.

Here’s what this batch of sacred cookies actually cost us at Walmart:

• Rolled Oats ($5.12 for 42 oz) → You only need about 8 oz. That’s under $1 to make your own oat flour at home.

• Ground Flaxseed ($6.97 for 16 oz) → Use about 4 oz = $1.74

• Medjool Dates ($21.99 for 2 lbs) → You’ll use half a pound = $5.50

• Cashews ($13.88 for 30 oz) → 4 oz = $1.85

• Blueberry Applesauce ($3 for 6 cups) → One cup = $0.50

• Tapioca Starch ($9.69 for 16 oz) → Just a teaspoon = about $0.06

• Vanilla Extract ($5.72 for 2 oz) → A teaspoon = $0.49

• Oat Milk Chocolate Chips ($5.98 for 10 oz) → Use half = $2.99

✨ Total Batch Cost = about $14.11
(That’s for 25 life-changing cookies.)

💡 That’s 56 cents per cookie—
less than a sad vending machine protein bar, with zero B.S., and full of affirmations.

💸 BONUS TRUTH FROM THE CROW ALTAR

When we quit eating out and started cooking like this?
Our grocery bill got cut in half.
No more fast food guilt. No more late-night regret burritos. No more mystery inflammation from oils and fake sugars. (Humans are made of water. — Oil and water don’t mix, just sayin’.)

And I won’t even start on the money we’ve saved by not needing doctors as often, and how it reversed all my dis-eases.
Oops. Just did. 🖤

✨ LOUI CROW'S FINAL BITE

Don’t let the word “healthy” be code for “boring.”
This cookie is a wink to your past self, a kiss to your nervous system,
and a middle finger to guilt.

So bake it. Bless it. Bite it.
You’re allowed to feel good.
Even now. Especially now.

💔 What pain or struggle is this blog addressing?
The silent shame around eating. The exhaustion of trying to eat “healthy” and either feeling bored, broke, or guilty. The fear that if food feels good, it must be bad. The longing for comfort without inflammation.

Seen. Fed. Empowered. Like you just reclaimed pleasure without a price tag—and maybe even reversed a little dis-ease with dessert.