0. HESITATOR (The Fool) — Lyrics From Upcoming FVNERAL Album

The ghost is not your ex, not your mother, the ghost is the you that dressed in defense

Album: FVNERAL
Artist: Loui Crow
Streaming: All platforms
📱 @louicrow on TikTok / FB / YouTube / IG

🖤 ABOUT  THE  SONG — THE  HESITATOR

(keep scrolling for lyrics)

This track opens the Gate. It is the spark remembering itself before the body forgets.
The image that carries it — the figure half‑unzipped from skin beneath a sky of galaxies — is cosmology.

In FVNERAL, each song is a rite: one ghost unearthed, named, and sealed.
The Hesitator is Ghost  Zero — the first echo that forms when consciousness chooses incarnation.
It stands where spirit meets skin; the inhale before the first scream.
It is the Fool in tarot — the step off the edge — but retold through Crow’s tongue, where hesitation itself becomes the wound that teaches motion.

The sky above the figure is Nuit: infinite curvature, the field of all potential.
The light within the body is Hadit: the single point of awareness that agrees to enter form.
Between them, motion stirs — the Crow, the witness of choice.
Their meeting births experience.
In the Stele of Revealing, this triad appeared as Nuit arching above, Hadit as the winged disk, and Ra‑Hoor‑Khuit as the act of Will.
Here, that cosmology collapses inward: the disk becomes heartbeat, the act becomes breath.
The Fool is agreeing to gravity.

To understand this track is to understand how every human ghost begins.
When the soul first whispers yes to matter, fear follows as its shadow.
That fear builds language: later, maybe, almost.
From those syllables, the Hesitator is born — the ghost of postponement, the mimic of safety.
This song doesn’t cure it. It witnesses it.
It teaches that healing begins not with repair, but with remembrance:
you were the spark before you were the doubt.

The  Hesitator stands as prologue to the entire FVNERAL Rite.
Twenty‑one more ghosts will rise after this one.
Four Gates will open — Naming, Eulogy, Mirror, Seal.
Each track buries another false survival self.
This song? It lights the first match.
It’s where the Crow lifts its head and says, “Here begins the FVNERAL.”

🔮 MYTH MAP INSIDE THE SONG

Nuit represents infinite potential — the cosmic womb, the field of all possibilities. In The Hesitator, Nuit is the galaxy field above, the vast space the Fool steps into. She is the embrace of existence before form.

Hadit is the divine point of awareness entering form — the soul spark choosing to live. In this song, Hadit is the Fool, the narrator zipped into skin. The Hesitator is Hadit flinching at incarnation, stalling in the doorway between spirit and body.

Ra-Hoor-Khuit, often expressed in Thelemic myth as the crowned and conquering child, becomes the Crow here — the force of Will that witnesses, names, and initiates. The Crow does not mourn. It marks. It sees. It names the ghost and declares the rite.

The Fool (Card 0) symbolizes spirit before ego — pure possibility, unbound by identity or outcome. In The Hesitator, the Fool is the flinch at the start of creation. The one who hovers before leaping. The soul at the threshold, unsure, haunted by what might happen if they truly choose.

⚰️ THE FVNERAL RITE 

FVNERAL is not mourning. It is Function.
Each track follows the rite: Naming → Witness → Burial → Seal.
This is not healing; this is replacing
The ghosts in these songs are not external spirits but survival scripts:
selves built from fear, loyalty, adaptation.
The Hesitator is the first — the ghost that delays the leap.
Once it is named, the rest surface one by one until silence becomes body again.

Crow carries the rite forward.
Each Gate cuts deeper:
Yod – The  Name ignites incision.
Heh – The  Eulogy washes what’s dead.
Vav – The  Mirror binds truth to flesh.
Heh  Final – The  Echo seals the grave.
When the fourth Gate closes, Function returns: breath without defense, movement without mask.

🗣️ Crow Affirmation:
“Almost is prison. The ghost dies when I leap.”

🕯 TL;DR — “The Hesitator”

This is the sound of the spark remembering it chose to burn.
The Fool—still zipped in hesitation—stalls at the edge of incarnation.
The Hesitator is the glitch before motion, the ghost born from almost.
This isn’t healing. It’s unmasking.
The ghost isn’t who hurt you—it’s who you became to survive.
And this song is the first step of the FVNERAL rite:
naming the first ghost.
The rest will follow.

The Hesitator / The Fool (Card 0) opened the first crack in the mirror — the moment spirit accepts embodiment. That’s the Yod impulse in the YHVH formula: raw, creative spark. It names the first ghost—hesitation—and lights the match that begins the rite.

🎙 LYRICS — THE HESITATOR

[Intro  ]

Here begins the funeral. [pause]

I am the first ghost.

Others follow me close.

Gate opens when spark begins.

Ghost forms when I agree to live.

Thou art the spark that zipped itself in.

This is Will, disguised as hesitation.

To live here, I had to forget I chose it.

[Verse 1 ]

The hush got bored and coughed —

Light spilled free. That cough is me.

Crow’s first call, voice in the veil.

I am the Hesitator — I hover, I flail.

I see all paths at once. None ask nicely.

I live on maybe. Decisions cripple me.

“What if I choose wrong?” [dramatic long pause]

Ghost feeds me caffeine and nostalgia.

Laugh, scroll, delay — cosmic.. amnesia.

Ghost says, “If you stop, regret will drown ya.”

That kiss tastes like sweet delay rot desire.

Swallow tries like peppermint fire.

Ghost’s not them — it’s the mask I face.

Not who hurt me — it’s who I became.

Ghost says, “Pause is a prayer to comfort.”

[pause] comfort never saved anyone.

[Pre-Chorus]

Ghost says hope is silly.

Good things don’t happen to me.

Ghost says I’m stuck — no crow gets clean.

Trapped between skin and light. I see too much.

I could be anything — that’s the clutch.

Every road opens — I freeze.

Feet heavy, I never leap.

Hesitator is Fool — and the Fool is me.

[Chorus ]

Hesitator — won’t get this Fool.

Folly flicks fate with a crow’s sharp claw.

Hesitator — Fool rots to Ghoul.

Folly is fire before it knows its ember.

Dive without reason — wake mid-air.

Ghost falls back — I’m not there.

[Verse 2]

Ghost grips the gate — gravity calls.

Safety in the stall. Fear of the fall.

Say I surrender — still check locks.

Pretending’s a prayer. God’s gone deaf.

Mind overcapacity. No sleep left.

Thoughts twist hyper-possibility scare.

Tried to leap once. They let go mid-air.

I hit silence. [long pause]

Heard the hush — hardened the lion.

Trip on the floor where memory’s gone.

Commitment issues in full bloom.

Write oaths in pencil. Promise the moon.

Ghost says I should. [pause]

If I wanted to, I could. [pause]

Dive into density. Now is the time.

The edge is mine.

[Pre-Chorus ]

Ghost says hope is silly.

Good things don’t happen to me.

Ghost says I’m stuck — no crow gets clean.

Trapped between skin and light. I see so much.

I could be anything — that’s the clutch.

Every road opens — I am free.

Feet lighter — now I leap.

Hesitator is Fool — and Fool is me.

[Chorus ]

Hesitator — won’t get this Fool.

Folly flicks fate with a crow’s sharp claw.

Hesitator — Fool rots to Ghoul.

Folly is fire before it knows its ember.

Dive without reason — wake mid-air.

Ghost falls back — I’m not there.

[Bridge ]

I blink twice — Hesitator yields.

Walk through myth while my mirror peels.

This is not healing — this is replacement.

You don’t fix the ghost. You name it. You bury it.

Speak the name — let dirt carry it.

Gate won’t wait — I commit.

[Chorus ]

Hesitator — won’t get this Fool.

Folly flicks fate with a crow’s sharp claw.

Hesitator — Fool rots to Ghoul.

Folly is fire before it knows its ember.

Dive without reason — wake mid-air.

Ghost falls back — I’m not there.

[Outro ]

First ghost was the Hesitator.

The rest wait their turn.

I’m the Fool in the funeral —

Walking myself in.

Crow gathers the echoes —

Feathers them shut.

The gate is sealed.

Next ghost: MANIPULATOR (The Magician)