2. On My Knees – Lyrics

Title: GORGEOUS
Artist: Loui Crow
Streaming: All platforms
📱 TikTok/FB/IG: @louicrow

🖤 ABOUT THE SONG — ON MY KNEES

Track two. Early in the album because the wound lives early—in the body, in the bones. This song remembers the first freeze and every silence mistaken for yes.

I wrote it in fragments, the way the memory returns: the fake laugh, the “sorry” I whispered instead of “stop,” the way I made myself small so the room wouldn’t break me. I carried it like debt, like I owed them calmness so they wouldn’t snap.

This is a song about coercion, about grooming, about obedience trained to wear perfume. It’s the girl who learned to kneel to stay safe. It’s the voice that left and the one that came back burned clean in the mirror.

Every word is lived. Every line pulled through my own throat. I wasn’t kneeling. I was waiting to rise.

🔥

Silence is a choke that lives in the jaw, a freeze that locks the body mid-breath. My nervous system learned to fold—charm, flatter, vanish—because saying “no” could make the room erupt. So I disappeared into obedience.

Silence was never empty. It was armor. Sweetness painted over fear. A trick my body built to survive the fire without screaming. But fire doesn’t stay hidden. It burns through the disguise. The silence cracked. Sound returned.

🗣️ Crow Affirmation:
“I don’t kneel to survive. I rise to stay real.”

🖤 CROW TRUTH
Obedience was never devotion. Kneeling was never consent. Fear dressed in sweetness is still fear. I don’t fold anymore. I rise.

🖋 LYRICS — ON MY KNEES

[Intro cassette tape click and voices speaking]
She didn’t say no.
She was asking for it.
She’s a tease.
What was she wearing?

[Verse 1]
They think “no” means keep trying.
I say “yes” like it’s surviving.
They think fear is foreplay.
I know they’ll do it anyway.
They call me a tease. And I freeze
On my knees, just praying it’ll pass—
Begging, please—make it fast.
I think obedience proves I’m love.
I wear submission like a glove.
I laugh, hoping it’ll pacify it.
They just like me better quiet.
I flinch, and they keep going.
Sewing me shut while the ache keeps growing.
How do you say no, when you’re scared of every man you know?

[Hook]
On my knees, I’m a monster with a pretty mouth
Love me please, a martyr with perfect posture
On my knees, no armor and I won’t lash out
Love me please, I’m the offer like a lost daughter
On my knees, lips stay gridlocked on a city route
Love me please, haunted mirror where the gasp comes loud
I wasn’t kneeling. I was waiting to rise

[Verse 2]
“No” makes them angry.
So I put them first, never me.
I soften my tone when I feel the snap.
Say “sorry” like armor, like it’s part of the trap.
They say I’m dramatic—“It’s just how guys are.”
I laugh it off, then cry in the car.
They praise the chase while I brace my skin.
I give fake smiles while I cave in
They say “Don’t ruin the mood.”
So I play along.
Bite my tongue so he still feels strong.
I learned to leave without the scream
I float above while he rewrites me
I tuck my pain in a purse like my keys.
I smooth my voice into something he needs.
They call it love. I call it fear.
I call it survival when I disappear.

[Bridge]
They mistook my hunger for weakness
But I was studying the choir
They mistook my survival for service.
But I was gathering the fire.
On my knees—they built their throne
On my knees—I built new doors
On my knees—I rose alone
On my knees — but I was never theirs

[Hook]
On my knees, I’m a monster with a pretty mouth
Love me please, a martyr with perfect posture
On my knees, no armor and I won’t lash out
Love me please, I’m the offer like a lost daughter
On my knees, lips stay gridlocked on a city route
Love me please, haunted mirror where the gasp comes loud
I wasn’t kneeling. I was waiting to rise

[Outro whispered]
Knees on the ground,
Eyes on the sky
I wasn’t kneeling.
I was waiting to rise