Dear Loui: Why I Can’t Stop Watching My Ex?

✨ Content is free—but crows like snacks.

Crow Talks • Dear Loui • Emotional Obsession • Sacred Unfollowing
April 20, 2025

✉️ An anonymous message from the Crow Hotline...

Dear Loui,

It’s been months.

We’re not together anymore.
They’ve moved on. I can see it. They post about it—happy, thriving, lit up.

And I can’t stop looking.

I check their page multiple times a day. I refresh stories. I read comments. I zoom in on blurry faces and try to figure out if they’re in love or just pretending.

It hurts every time.
But I can’t stop.

I don’t want them back, not really. I just… I don’t know. I feel sick about it.
I hate how obsessed I feel. I hate that I care. I hate me for caring.

Why can’t I let go?

(Please respond honestly—even if it hurts.)

💌 Loui Responds...

Dear beautiful obsessor,

Oh baby crow. You’re not crazy.
You’re in withdrawal.

Love withdrawal is a real thing.
So is identity collapse.
And stalking their joy like a crime scene you can’t stop revisiting?

That’s grief.
But it's grief with a side of psychic self-harm.

Every scroll is a little cut.
Every story you watch is a little “why wasn’t I enough?”
And that’s not drama. That’s a brain looking for a wound map.

You don’t want them back.
You want yourself back—the version of you that wasn’t shattered.

But your nervous system hasn’t caught up.
So it keeps checking for danger. For closure. For signs.
That’s what obsession is: grief with nowhere to go.

Here’s the hard truth, bird-to-bird:

You’re not stalking them.
You’re stalking the part of you they took with them.

And until you call that part back home, you’ll keep clicking their joy like a bruise you can’t stop pressing.

So let’s call it back. Right now.

Say this:

“I release the version of me they never fully saw.
I call her back.
She belongs to me now.”

Do it like a spell. Do it like a scream.
Do it shaking if you need to.

And then?
Block if you must. Mute if you must.
Not because you’re weak—but because you’re done being haunted.

Let me tell you something holy:

✨ You are not embarrassing.
✨ You are not pathetic.
✨ You are grieving the death of a role you once lived inside of.

But you are not a background character in their highlight reel.
You are not here to monitor someone else’s happiness like a ghost with a Wi-Fi signal.

You’re here to resurrect yourself.

So yes. Unfollow the timeline.
Start writing your own.

And if your fingers twitch to check again, come here instead.
Send me your ugliest “what the hell is wrong with me?” list.

I already know the answer:
Nothing.

You’re not crazy.
You’re molting.

🖤
— Loui Crow

💊 Loui Crow Prescription:

• One ritual unfollow. (Digital or emotional. Your choice.)

• One mirror stare where you whisper, “She’s not gone. She’s just coming back to me. I can light my own fire”

• One screenshot or love letter you delete instead of send. (...or send it to Loui if you need to speak it into a safe place. I’ll write back with clarity and care.)

Refill as needed. No expiration.
You’re not cursed. You’re just remembering how to fly.