On My Knees - Lyrics

Title: GORGEOUS
Artist: Loui Crow
Streaming: All platforms
📱 TikTok: @louicrow

🖤 ABOUT THE SONG — ON MY KNEES

This is song two in my 16-track album. It comes early because this wound lives early. In the body. In the bones. In the moment my silence got mistaken for a yes. This song remembers the first freeze and the thousand that followed.

I wrote this in pieces, like the memory came in pieces. The fake laugh. The way I said “sorry” instead of “stop.” The way I learned to make myself quiet so I could survive the room. I carried it like it was mine to carry. Like I owed them softness so they wouldn’t snap.

This isn’t just a song about assault. It’s about grooming. About socialization. About a girl who learned to kneel because that’s where safety lived. It’s about the voice that left, and the one that came back stronger. Louder. Burned clean in the mirror.

Every word is true. Every line came through my throat. It’s my breath, my ache, my return. I wasn’t kneeling. I was waiting to rise.

🔥 CROW BODY-BREAKDOWN — What Silence Really Is

Silence isn’t peace. Silence is a scream with no exit. A freeze so complete, my own voice forgot me. This body flinches before the sound leaves. It learned that saying “no” might escalate the threat. So it learned to fold, tuck, charm, flatter, vanish.

Silence isn’t emptiness. It’s armor. It's submission disguised as sweet. It’s a trick my nervous system built to survive the fire without burning. But I’m not sweet. I’m not safe. I’m sacred. And that silence? It’s melting into sound.

🗣️ Crow Affirmation:
“I don’t obey to feel safe.
I speak to stay real.”

🖤 CROW TRUTH

Obedience isn’t love.
Kneeling wasn’t consent.
Fear dressed up as politeness is still fear.
And I don’t freeze anymore.
I rise.

🖋 LYRICS — ON MY KNEES

[Intro cassette tape click and voices speaking]
She didn’t say no.
She was asking for it.
She’s a tease.
What was she wearing?

[Verse 1]
They think “no” means keep trying.
I say “yes” like it’s surviving.
They think fear is foreplay.
I know they’ll do it anyway.
They call me a tease.
And I freeze
On my knees, just praying it’ll pass—
Begging, please—make it fast.
I think obedience proves I’m love.
I wear submission like a glove.
I laugh, hoping it’ll pacify it.
They just like me better quiet.
I flinch, and they keep going.
Sewing me shut while the ache keeps growing.
How do you say no,
when you’re scared of every man you know?

[Hook]
On my knees, I’m a monster with a pretty mouth
Love me please, a martyr with perfect posture
On my knees, no armor and I won’t lash out
Love me please, I’m the offer like a lost daughter
On my knees, lips stay gridlocked on a city route
Love me please, haunted mirror where the gasp comes loud
I wasn’t kneeling.
I was waiting to rise

[Verse 2]
“No” makes them angry.
So I put them first, never me.
I soften my tone when I feel the snap.
Say “sorry” like armor, like it’s part of the trap.
They say I’m dramatic—“It’s just how guys are.”
I laugh it off, then cry in the car.
They praise the chase while I brace my skin.
I give fake smiles while I cave in
They say “Don’t ruin the mood.” So I play along.
Bite my tongue so he still feels strong.
I learned to leave without the scream
I float above while he rewrites me
I tuck my pain in a purse like my keys.
I smooth my voice into something he needs.
They call it love. I call it fear.
I call it survival when I disappear.

[Bridge]
They mistook my hunger for weakness
But I was studying the choir
They mistook my survival for service.
But I was gathering the fire.
On my knees—they built their throne
On my knees—I built new doors
On my knees—I rose alone
On my knees — but I was never theirs

[Hook]
On my knees, I’m a monster with a pretty mouth
Love me please, a martyr with perfect posture
On my knees, no armor and I won’t lash out
Love me please, I’m the offer like a lost daughter
On my knees, lips stay gridlocked on a city route
Love me please, haunted mirror where the gasp comes loud
I wasn’t kneeling.
I was waiting to rise

[Outro whispered]
Knees on the ground, Eyes on the sky
I wasn’t kneeling.
I was waiting to rise